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Everything is Connected to Everything Else

March. 28, 2013

10:25 pm - I'm baaack (sortof)

Wow, seriously long time since I've checked in here. I'm using one of the library's free computers at the moment, the PC got sick in May of last year (!!) and because I am a lazy/disorganized sodlet I still haven't got to that end of my To Do list. Gah. I would like to get to it before its anniversary, just coz I would feel truly pathetic otherwise...

I've been getting online via the library pcs and my iPod, don't know why it's only just occurred to me that I could've been updating LJ via Poddy? Except that it's bad enough trying to read emails on the thing, let alone typing on it...

And then my brain goes blank...

Er, why does the date at the top say it's the 13th when it is actually the 28th???

July. 20, 2010

01:42 am - i'm still here

i'm still here, i'm still here, i'm still here, i'm just not saying very much okay? but i am still here...

Current Mood: coldcold
Current Music: tinnitus

January. 03, 2010

03:48 am - Resolution 2010

My (New Years) Resolution for 2010 is "Follow Through".

Given I'm attempting to change the habit(s) of a lifetime on many different levels, I've run into some resistance to it already. But I plan to keep chipping away at it...

Current Mood: determineddetermined

December. 27, 2009

11:16 am - The World’s Biggest Stash? at Mochimochi Blog

The World’s Biggest Stash? at Mochimochi Blog

*gets really excited and wants to roll around in all that yarn* LOL...

Current Mood: bouncybouncy

December. 17, 2009

10:18 pm - Writer's Block: Honesty is such a lonely word

Do you think honesty is really the best policy when it comes to relationships? Is total honesty possible, let alone desirable?

I think people are attracted to the idea of honesty, but not so much to the reality of it.

Total honesty could be possible, but there would probably be less relationships started (or continued) because of it. Which could then lead to less people being born. I can't see how that would have a negative effect on the genepool really, but then I'm the sort of person who sees small children as the larval form of the species...

Current Mood: cynicalcynical

December. 12, 2009

05:59 pm - Scientists find single ‘on-off’ gene that can change gender traits - Times Online

Scientists find single ‘on-off’ gene that can change gender traits - Times Online

Current Mood: curiouscurious

November. 22, 2009

01:35 pm - Ch-ch-ch-changes (turn to face the day)

Lately I have been shifting and changing things around in my head and in my house (they seem connected somehow?). Hopefully, if I don't give in to anxiety/fear, I will also be making some changes in my life as well.

So this is a heads up that from time to time there will be 'friends only' posts. A matter of 'choosing your audience' really...

Current Mood: calmcalm
Current Music: head music - Bowie...

November. 05, 2009

05:35 pm - falling down in my head again

i seem to be falling down that hole in my head again. all i really want to do is eat, sleep, go shopping, and do mindless activities like lurking online for ages at a time. why does this keep happening?? i guess i should get a medication review or something, but the last time i tried for one my gp said she thought a psychologist ought to do it and referred me to the local mental health clinic. Who promptly said that the gp ought to do it and referred me back to her. so in the end nothing got done...

Current Mood: blankblank

October. 21, 2009

02:05 pm - My 'get up and go' is MIA...

Yesterday was my 10th day checkup since having my gall bladder removed. The message from the surgeon was basically 'everything in moderation' and 'start getting back to life as normal'.

So today I have a few little things I could do in town, and I was thinking let's start getting ready and...I don't want to go. My motivation has disappeared down a mental rabbit hole and I don't know what to do to get it back...

Current Mood: distresseddistressed

September. 08, 2009

12:40 pm - Does this mean I'm bad, horrible??

I'm supposed to be doing a collection for a charity this week. The last day is Saturday. It's a registered charity, a great cause (heart health). They sent a kit with all the stuff (badge, receipt book, instructions). And I've only got to collect on my street.

I don't want to do it. I didn't want to do it when I was first contacted about it months ago. I've no idea why I ended up saying 'yes' when I wanted to say 'no'. They contacted me again recently to make sure I'd got the kit, and I wanted to say "I've been unwell, I can't do this" (because I have been unwell), but I couldn't get the words out over the bright bubbly person on the other end of the phone.

I don't want to do it. I had talked myself round to the idea at some point over the past months - it could be fun, an adventure, think of all the people I might meet. But right at the moment the thought of knocking on strangers' doors, asking them for a donation, dealing with all the details of writing stuff down.... No.

The only thing I can think of at the moment is work out how many houses I will have missed, work out an amount per house, and send them a donation for that amount with a note saying "Sorry I couldn't do it, please don't ask me to volunteer again."

Current Mood: sadsad

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